Friend-SHIP

As you have seen from the title above, I've some how decided to write the word friendship apart as a two words. How many of you out there and actually tell from the bottom of your heart that the 'friendship' that you have with your peers are actually out of sincerity? Honestly, the world has become a place where people often wear a mask when they are out in the society and it has become hard for everyone to decide if their actions or feelings to you is true or just some act.

A few weeks ago, I happened to chat with primary friends via the messenger and he's confided in me that he's not feeling well. So, out of curiosity i asked: 'What happened?'. He went on to tell me that his best friend (which USED to be mine as well) has been given him the silent card for a few years now. At that moment, I take it that he's joking cause how can you stand staying with a person when they have refused to talk to you for three years? What's worse, the friend even went on to pretend that he wasn't there when he tried to confront him. Hmm. Not bad a friend right?

We had a little chat last night, reminiscing bout the times that we've spent during our primary (as i was helping my cousin sis with her boring virtual class), I took the liberty of asking about the condition between the two of them. Not to my surprise they are indeed no more best-buds. I told him wouldn't it be such a waste for an almost 10 years friendship to end on bad terms? That, was the thought that i had last night.

Today, I dun feel that way at all. What do we really know about friendship? Can you consider someone who has been talking bad about you behind your back as a friend? Or would you consider someone who's always ignored you whenever you bugged him bout something that you know he doesn't like a friend? Or someone who should've understand you better than anyone else (since that's what they claimed all the time. Normally they would say - i know what you wanted to do by the look on your face.) but instead went on to say something that they should've known better would come back to the one that they are dissing on?

Really, all this friendship thing really confuses me. How often do you meet a friend that is really sincere to you and treasure you as a friend? Sincere doesn't mean that a friend will cook you dinner every night. Although they have somehow shown you a better side of them of how good they've treated you but wants something in return. Does this make them a sincere friend? A best friend forever? To be honest to my heart and my soul, I hereby declare that i'm not a good friend.

If you thought just because you've shown me some kindness and expects me to treat you the way that you've treated me, then, i'm so sorry cause i was never comfortable that way. This is the reason why i have always tried to distance myself from other people. Oblivion to the world seemed like a good place for me.

Bigger Picture

A sudden thought suddenly occurred to me - does wearing a spectacle with bigger frames makes you see a bigger picture while a smaller one don't? Most of you might not be able to grasp what i'm trying to say here, well, i don't actually knows what i'm going at as well. But, just when i put on my old glasses i had this sudden thought that maybe a person's personality is like when you're changing your glasses.

As we can see around us, there are different types of glasses to be found on the streets and they all come in different shapes. We have oval, round, square, rectangle and we even some glasses which we normally will be those olden days english women wear on TV and let's not forget a peacock feathered glasses. See? There are so many glasses to choose from and i'm just started with the shapes alone. Let's not forget the sizes that it comes with - small, medium, large you name it and it shall be yours.

In fact, the world has been so keen on making the world a better place for every living being they have decided to include more sustainable materials in making glasses which of course costs more than the normal plastic ones (what do you expect? Sustainability don't come in cheap packages you know.) Now, we have titanium glasses which used to be the IT glasses. I'm not sure if it still is cause i have one and it's a courtesy from my uni friends in conjunction with my birthday. Since someone like me can own a titanium, i'm guessing it must be really dropping off the charts then.

This blog is actually not meant to be about glasses, i just liked to say that sometimes no matter what glasses you're wearing, it doesn't mean that you have to look at everything within the frames of your glasses. Maybe it's time to look outside the box (as they say - to be creative you need to think outside the box) just so you can have a look at the bigger picture.

2011

Finally! The long awaited new year has finally arrived. I'm sure every1 in the world is busy looking for ways to fulfill their resolutions. Strange enough, I dun find myself as having any new year resolutions this year. It occurs to me that i might be I dun have enough time in my mind to come up with a few or maybe it's just me plain lazy to have a few. Anyhow, for those of you who does, make sure you see to fulfilling yours and dun have a few up for naught! Happy new year!

X'mas Eve (Minus the Lavish Dinner and Turkey)

Funny enough, even though the final year project is to be completed by next week, but, all i had managed to do was wasting my time on searching for songs, reading my never-ending novels and watching Brothers & Sisters. Tell me, who can resist the urge of not watching that series??? It's just too darn good to give it up.

I remembered when i first arrived to Mlc a few days ago, i told myself to commit a 100% on the FYP but as it turns out i feel uninspired to even start touching it more than ever. The fact that my supervisor has gone out station for a week and the pressure that was loaded on my shoulders with the revelation that i might not be able to finish the thing in time does not help at all. Not forgetting what would the panel say should i be lucky enough to come out with a prototype.

As usual, having nothing to do or should i say 'dun know how to start' i went to get myself a good afternoon nap thanks to the anxiety that's been bugging me these few nights which has left me with not-so-good-night sleep, i found myself waking up now and then to check the time. Sounds like a not-so-good sleeping habits? Why do i get the feeling that i wont be sleeping right every night and feeling nervous all the time before the final semester to my varsity years even starts?

p/s: Merry X'mas (i'll be sulking in my room fretting over what to do with my FYP...)

Anxiety Attack

What started out as a homesick plan turns out to be a real disaster in disguise. Whoever thought that finally getting a chance to really stay at home will turn out to be the worst nightmare that you can ever imagine. The feeling of not getting something done is bad. But the thought of not able to getting something finished in time is haunting and it most certainly makes you feel anxious.

Anxiety attack. One of the obnoxious way to express that you're nervous about something. It's not obnoxious to some people but it does to me. Makes the breathing hard and it makes it hard for you to sleep. Just when you thought you finally got the chance to rest and here comes the whirlwind that's going to sweep your feet right off the ground. Can't say i see that one coming.

I've come to realize that i've been using the phrase 'Didn't/Can't see that one coming' quite a lot. It really seems like a useful phrase to use when you're trying to hide the fact that you weren't prepared for a situation but it's happened to you anyway. Didn't see that coming. I actually likes the sound of it. Happy holidays to those celebrating X'mas. No reason to not celebrate even though you're stuck with work.