Departure

Do u ever get the feeling of just leaving a place and end up in a place with total strangers around you and dont have a care for the world on what you're doing? How i would like to just be able to leave here and go to somewhere where there wasn't anyone there who knows me and be able to live a free life instead - stress free that is. Nic once told me that if you want something hard enough you would do anything to get it, but, it always comes down to one thing - money. How thw heck are you going to go some place without a penny in your pocket?

Can't say i haven thought of earning my way through the journey, but, even a child would say that's not practical wouldn't it? Just the other day, my cousin sis told me that she's finally resigned from her work and is going to Australia for some time while waiting for her boyfriend to settle in Washington. Now, this would make you think - why the hell are they able to do all this that you can't? It's quite simple actually, it's either that's your fault or there's something that went wrong somewhere in between that you didn't know.

As if going through a hectic life in the uni is not enough that i still have to worry about so many things in life. Sometimes you wished you could just kill yourself off and be done with it for a moment. Once again, I'm just going to say that i'm alright. So, for whoever who reads this, you dont have to worry about a thing. It's not like i'm going to kill myself off the moment this post ended. I'm just trying to express wat i felt once in awhile if not verbally.

Some of you might say - why not just get everything out and share it with some one else. For some, it might be a way to get solutions that you alone will not be able to figure out. But, i was not brought up that way. I wasn't taught to express myself whenever i faced any problems and more importantly i've grown used to keeping my own thoughts to myself except when there are times that i really can't stand it. So, if you really want to help, the best way would be just leave me alone for awhile instead of asking me 'What's the matter?'. Truth be told, i'm never comfortable with that phrase. It just feels awkward even when it came from my own family. Even when i answer you, it would be a lie.

But then again, everyone's living a lie. Don't they?

Stomachache

It's officially the third now since the gut-wrenching stomachache began. Am still trying to figure out wat i ate the last few days. At the moment, the prime suspect to this is the 'bubur cha-cha'. You can say it's my own fault and my foolish non-stop-eating mouth anyway. Who would've thought an innocent looking bowl of 'bubur cha-cha' can put me thru this horrifying experience. What happened as a cooling dessert turned out to be a nightware. It has been blistering over here in Malacca for the last few days, so, wat happened was my roommate (being a moderate cooker as he is) had prepared dessert - the infamous bubur cha-cha for every1 the previous night. I dun know whether it's fortunate or unfortunate that he prepared quite a large portion.. As usual, every1 was not able to finish the whole thing off, so, we left the unfinished dessert in the fridge. Well, wat happened the next day was i suddenly had a knack for something cool for the hot afternoon, so, i went to look around in the fridge and found a whole pot full of bubur cha-cha. The whole thing does look a bit sticky at the same time yucky when you first took it out of the fridge, but, since it's cool and i help myself to a bowl of it. Half way through eating that i was beginning to feel a bit stuffed so i went to the kitchen and boiled the whole thing again. Only then does the whole thing tastes right. I guess it's all too late now huh?? Right or not right i've already got wat i deserved eating uncooked food from the fridge. This is only one of the suspect. The others that i have in mind could be the spicy chicken patty that my housemate cooked the other night. Being a not-so-spicy eater, it's always been known that i can't take food that are too spicy. God knows wat would happen after that right? But since that night, out of the blue, i was feeling hungry as a wolf, stuffed myself with one of those spicy chicken patty and the spicy noodles. Well, ever since that day i've been having stomach ache till today. I've already lost count on the times i wen to the bathroom.. Only myself to blame for this huh? Maybe lisa was right - i shouldn't be so 'tan chi' haha..

P/S : F, u're not helping in the facebook!

Everything that's bad.

If coming back to your own house feeling tired and exhausted is not enough, maybe you should try coming home to one that looks like it's been muggled and looking like a rubbish dump. Even my dog stays in a cleaner environment than this. Seriously, it doesn't take that long a time to reach the rubbish bin. If that's not enough, try coming home to a house where there're papers scattered all over the table and wires snaking through here and there. There. IS THAT ANNOYING OR DISGUSTING? I dun know which i felt more now.

It has been tiring and somewhat crazy for the past few days that i think i'm going to go all 'koo-koo-in-the-head' all too soon. Honestly, can somebody please help enlighten me? Sleeping late IS bad enough. Not getting enough sleep almost everyday IS bad enough. Occasional headaches IS bad enough. Not leaving out worrying about the assignments are bad enough. And now the last thing that i really need is to come back to a home that i need to worry as well. Here i was thinking home is a place that you can come back to relax...

Out of the blue, there seems to be a trend going on around lately. The slimming method or should i say the express way to diet. It really amazes me of the extent that people are willing to go to achieve that particularly goal. I'm not trying to say that it's bad or anything since the choice is theirs to make - just hope that in the end it's worthwhile. For some, they would consort to eating vegetables as their only input for the whole day. Not exactly all green but with occasional meat here and there (but that can be considered seldom).

For me, i don't think that's even necessary. I've never been the thinnest one and i've never been the thickest one. Once upon a time i might have use that as the last resort to lose all those weight that i once have, but come to think of it, my weight has been the weight that i have for the years past that i couldn't recall. Well, for those of you out there - hope all your efforts will be paid off and all the best. For the others - KEEP THE GOD DAMN HOUSE CLEAN! Don't be such a F.