Last Minutes

Waking up this morning to think that it might be a better day than yesterday. Guess that i'm all wrong again. It seems that fate hasn't turn out good for me yet. Since the beginning of this month, it's been nothing but bad bad for me. It's like a giant bad-voodoo meteorite has sudden hit on earth and i'm it's target. I guess i'm reading too many novels that help sparks my over-the-top imagination.

Ever got the moment where you have to rush all your assignments and projects at the last minutes and end up succumbing to nothing? Have you ever given a thought that wouldn't it be better if you'd have done it since the beginning instead of waiting till the deadline to do it? I guess it's a habit that most find difficult to break. It comes as no surprise though. When you got too much time till the deadline, you always tell yourself that it's impossible not to finish it in time. One lesson that i have learned this semester - never leave anything behind unless you are confident you can do it.

But what if you didn't want to leave it till the last minute, instead, you've got no choice but to wait till the end cause some idiot along the way came and took everything from you and left you nothing but an open wound? Now, that's a new thought. The most unfortunate thing that can really happen to a person's life is to find that you have actually achieved something only to find you have done nothing cause everything that you have done was taken from you.

And the best part of it is that you didn't even know that it had happened until you actually found out about it. What's more, there's nothing you can do about it cause some1 said that they'll take care of it. But, how far can you trust that person's words? Don't ever tell me that you've seen the worst part of life. Don't ever mention how sad your life is to other people. It'll just cast a shadow on yourself. You haven heard the story of other people's life. It'll make you eat your own words and make you feel so puny that you'll regret the moment you let those words out.

Abyss of The Heart

Everyone have their moments where they fret, feel sad, got their hearts broken, get a reason for celebrations and depressed out of nothing. Just the other day i had a friend who wrote his feelings out on his blog. He went on to publish the link of that post on his social network. Although i still couldn't figure out why he did this but i'm guessing maybe he felt that some one out there should understand what it is that he's feeling.

Unfortunately for him, an act that looked so naive and harmless have turned out into a gossips among friends. Some of those readers have labeled this act as stupidity. The most irony thing in it is that names were mentioned in that post. And that my friend has made what every1 thought as the dumbest thing that any person can do. I guess the first rule when you're trying to go public, names should not be mentioned unless you have the consent by the party which you are referring to?

It always amazes me that some people can just let out how they feel to the world so easily without having a care on what that would give to them. Interactions have come to me as a way to express one's feeling to other people. Unfortunately, in my case, expressing my feelings to others seemed hard. Be it to my family or to my friend. I dun feel obligated to comfort a person when they are not feeling well. A simple act of asking if everything is ok would have taken a lot out of me.

Having said that, it's obviously i dun normally share what i feel easily. Unless i feel that it is necessary for me to explain it to you, then, i would jus twist and turn without telling you a thing. Earlier this month, I was supposed to feel good for once in my life since it's a good reason for me to celebrate. But, for no reason it has turned out as the choices that i regretted most of all. Then, i was accused as not expressing how i felt.

Hopefully every1 knows that showing my feelings is not an easy matter and that unlike most people, showing my feelings easily whenever something happens always makes me sad cause often than not, something bad happens. Writing this blog had those bad memories flooding back to my mind all over again. If only life isnt always this hard on me. Compared to the world, i feel so small..

Random

Ive ran out of idea of figuring out the best and appropriate title for each entry. The sudden thought of just naming each of them random came to my mind. Just came back from class and am now sitting in front of a table in the library writing an entry to my blog with my fren's laptop. 

Last few weeks have been the most craziest weeks for me. Rushing my final year projects together with the endless assignments to boot. Phew! To top it off, there's an occasionally suddenly-out-of-the-blue test for u. I think the lecturers are trying to create this help-u-ease-ur-stress ambiance. Unfortunately for them, they dun! Working around the hour and burning the midnight oil. SUCKS. 

Yesterday i jus got the news from my sis that my dog is having her first period which leads to her being called bitchy by my dad. Blood stain all around the house? No wonder she's being locked away on the porch every morning. Just hopes that she wont be making much noise. Neighborhood around my house is not friendly. Thanks to those aunties that have too much free time to loiter outside their house and dissed on other ppl's dirt. 

I've got a test in 5 hours and all i can think of now is all the presentations that are needed to be completed by this week. Especially the presentation for this particular sub - Business Plan. I'm a manufacturing engineering undergrad and we've made compulsory to sit for a sub called Entrepreneurs. All my life i've never given a thought about me being a business person. Business and me are like oil and water. We dun mix around with each other well.

Constructive and Destructive

Over the years since we started to have education, be it primary, secondary or tertiary, we have been taught to have constructive thinking than destructive thinking. What is constructive? although i dun know it that much in-depth, but, at least i know that whenever we do something, we have to be at least a lil' optimistic doing it. Tell me, will anything ever accomplished if all u ever do is thinking on the bad side rather than the good one? Complaining is okay. But, u dun have to keep on taking what other ppl's thoughts down. Imagine u have said something and the person kept on giving bad comments on what you've said. Irritating right? Undergraduates. Undergraduates have been given lectures and courses on how to have constructive thinking all the time. Even we learn that in Tech Com in first year. But, from what i've known over the years of our country's undergraduates, they tend to be destructive more than constructive. U're doing a project and your project team jus kept on providing you with those pessimistic thoughts. How the hell are you supposed to finish that damn project when at the beginning the spirit of the team have already been brought down by your own members?! One more thing is - ppl are not appreciative of what you've done for them. Jus because you start to own things that ppl dun have doesnt mean that you have the upper hand on other ppl. All you own are gadgets. Gadgets. Really? You're going to compete with other ppl jus cause you've got bloody gadgets? You dun have the brains and you're going to use gadgets? Dun even make me laugh on that! Did u even notice that you were pitied when you're in your lowest point in your life, but you're being cast out now that you thought you're on top. Thought you're hanging out with a bunch of high standards ppl dun ya? Think again fool! You're just going to make urself embarrass in front of every1 else. Dun even make me judge you with the higher standard of myself. I'm jus trying to stay ON PAR with you at the moment.

Making a Fool out of myself

All right, I think making a fool out of myself has officially become a habit of mine. Jus take a look at the profile pic of my facebook. I can't stop laughing ever since. I always knew i looked bad, but, i din know it was this bad. This is the reason why i dun really enjoy looking at my own pictures unless they are really good. Take a look (Promise to have a good laugh after that :):-

Special thanks to Miss Cindy Low for uploading this onto the facebook and tagged my name onto it... It would've been an anonymous picture if u din tag me u know :(