Low Point?

Life sucks. At least mine does. Everything's broken and no matter how many times i tried to save up some money to fix them, something always come up and in the end - down goes the money to the drains. Lately i got the feeling that while every1 around me is getting everything that they wanted (at least they still get part of what they wanted), i'm still stuck in the middle of nowhere getting nothing. Everyday i have to wake up telling myself to be patient. That there might be something good that'll happen to me during the day. Everyday the same ol' mask that i wear to my advantage every single time. Not bad huh? I was told that i'm good at handling bad situations by being optimistic. The truth? I'm not. It's just the face that i wear whenever something bad's happened. How can i not put on an optimistic face all the time? I'll be halfway close to killing myself if i dun. Even feeling sad and moody is a guilt in my life. And guilt seems to have found a good friend in me