Departure

Do u ever get the feeling of just leaving a place and end up in a place with total strangers around you and dont have a care for the world on what you're doing? How i would like to just be able to leave here and go to somewhere where there wasn't anyone there who knows me and be able to live a free life instead - stress free that is. Nic once told me that if you want something hard enough you would do anything to get it, but, it always comes down to one thing - money. How thw heck are you going to go some place without a penny in your pocket?

Can't say i haven thought of earning my way through the journey, but, even a child would say that's not practical wouldn't it? Just the other day, my cousin sis told me that she's finally resigned from her work and is going to Australia for some time while waiting for her boyfriend to settle in Washington. Now, this would make you think - why the hell are they able to do all this that you can't? It's quite simple actually, it's either that's your fault or there's something that went wrong somewhere in between that you didn't know.

As if going through a hectic life in the uni is not enough that i still have to worry about so many things in life. Sometimes you wished you could just kill yourself off and be done with it for a moment. Once again, I'm just going to say that i'm alright. So, for whoever who reads this, you dont have to worry about a thing. It's not like i'm going to kill myself off the moment this post ended. I'm just trying to express wat i felt once in awhile if not verbally.

Some of you might say - why not just get everything out and share it with some one else. For some, it might be a way to get solutions that you alone will not be able to figure out. But, i was not brought up that way. I wasn't taught to express myself whenever i faced any problems and more importantly i've grown used to keeping my own thoughts to myself except when there are times that i really can't stand it. So, if you really want to help, the best way would be just leave me alone for awhile instead of asking me 'What's the matter?'. Truth be told, i'm never comfortable with that phrase. It just feels awkward even when it came from my own family. Even when i answer you, it would be a lie.

But then again, everyone's living a lie. Don't they?