Lesson Learned

After the last few days incident, i really dun know what to do or should i say i dun know how to face my parents and my 'brother' now. I have to admit that i really did not expect them to treat me this way but heck what do u expect when your mum feels that your elder brother is her golden child right? So, i jus have to accept my own fate and get over it. For those of you who have seen the previous blog before this, well, i've deleted it. It's too selfish of me to be trashing my own family with a blog. From what i've learned today, after the half-an-hour long lecturing from my friend. I have to admit that i've been really soft on everything. Maybe it's time that i learned how to stand up for myself instead of jus relying on every1 else. Although this might take a while but hopefully i'm able to grow out of the shell that i've been hiding in all these years.

Honestly

Sometimes it really makes me wonder did i really did something bad that the god have to punish me with all the bad things that's ever happened in my life.. I don't recall doing anything bad or hurtful to any1 in my life (except maybe those petty stuffs..) and if i really did dun u think that i've suffered enough for it already? Life as i have seen from today is not hard. It's god damn F***ing hard and let me tell u.. It's most hard when u found out that u cant really trust the people that u've been calling family for 22 years. Yes. 22 god damn years and this is what i get.. So much for being a family huh? Seriously, what the hell did i do that i have to be treated this way? Don't i deserve to have some peace of my own? Haven't i suffered enough for this already? What i actually found out today is that your close friends is sometimes you can actually call family. I don't know about you guys out there but i'm actually real grateful that i'm able to find close friends that will always be there for me when i'm in trouble or when i'm feeling down (although they sometimes makes me feel like i'm nothing but a dumbshit... but that's ok.. I can get past that..). And here i'd like to clarify that forget about those shitty phrase that your family is better than your friends.. From what i saw-some of my family are actually worst than my friends.. So i hope whoever that came up with that phrase can eat their own words and rot in hell. OH yes.. For those of you who've been treating me bad.. YES.. YOU... You can join and rot in hell as well.. May the GOD DAMN YOU. :)

The Ever-So-Long Break

Who would have thought that i would be so darn boring when you're having your semester break huh? Long before the semester break every1 was so excited that they are finally getting their deserved rest at last.. Who knows it turns out that it's more than they thought. At least that's what i'm feeling now.. I have to cramped up inside my room and do a series-marathon (learned from F and N) everyday plus the occasional PS2.. Seriously, can it be any lamer? Anyway, i've been telling myself to work on that resume for my coming LI. Unfortunately for me, it's been two weeks now since my semester break started and i have not started anything yet let alone looking for the appropriate jobs.. Anyway, this reminded me that i did said that i was going to jog during this semester break to lose the excess wieght.. Guess this doesn't work out as well.. SIGH

My long-deserved holiday..

Alright it's been a while since i last came over to write something here and i guess it's time to continue doing it now since the semester break started!!! The last few weeks have been the most intense week that i've ever been in my whole varsity life. Before this it was al relaxation during the finals.. Unfortunately, the time has come on to me to compensate for all those relaxation. This semester saw me taking up 7 subs and 2 out of the 7 requires no final. Sounds easy huh? Who would have thought that i'd be more busy without the finals?? No wonder they invented the phrase - 'Nothing is EASY'.. Now i know why.. For the past few weeks i had been working on this group file for my PDD which stands for Product Design and Development. Well, the work is simple. Jus come up with an idea of a product that you wished to develop and all the expenses are being taken cared of.. At first we thought i would be an easy process since we are only required to produce a tangible product. But, we did not know that there are tonnes of paperwork to be done and i was only able to finish it two days before my semester break starts. Well, that's not the worst part yet. I had to study my every paper at the last minute. Last minute as in the day before the actual paper. It seems that it's only miracle i'll be able to get a good pointer for this semester.. Anyways, the past is the past and now i'm finally able to relax my mind for AWHILE. Yup, i have to start doing my resume and be on the look out for companies for my LI - Industrial Training. Looks like the days of the giddyness and headaches will be on me in no time..

Deeeeeeee - stress

So there's been sleepless nights for the past 2 weeks and now it has taken its toll on me.. My balancing system is not that balanced anymore (this phrase do ssound a bit weird to my ears..).. I've been feeling giddy for the past few weeks that i felt like fainting at times.. well, all these really have to thank myself for rushing all the assignments and projects in the last minute.. been telling myself since the beginning of the semester that whatever important have to be done ASAP. unfortunately, my instinct jus wont succumb to it. Instead it jus lingers elsewhere and i cant find the mood to finish off watever's at hand.. even for now i'm supposed to be studying for my etnic relation, but, the book is all letters and it makes my head spins around whenever i'm looking at it.. How am i ever going to finish studying this subs?? had a chat wit nic earlier and he wen on to show me the pics taken during his bday celebration in the chilis'. looking at the pics got me thinking how come i was not able to celebrate wit him.. oh ya.. i remembered.. that's because i'm stuck with all these damn projects and assignments and tests!!!! now i'm back in my hometown and i'm still stuck with studying for next week's finals.. seriously, can any1 come help me destress??? i'm in desperate need for it..